The Creative Domain: Emotional Wellness.

By Dr. Deb Majewski, EdD, LCPC

What are Emotions?

Hi! Welcome back to The Zen Life. In this issue we’ll discuss the second component of the Creative Domain of Wellness which is Emotional Wellness.

What are emotions? At their core, they are simply neurobiological activity that serves the purpose of communicating our needs to others. What’s really important about emotional wellness is the ability to not only understand and articulate our emotions, but also to effectively manage them.

How people communicate and manage their emotions depends in large part on the environment they were raised in. Many families encourage the sharing of emotions and are very open and encourage the sharing of feelings with each other. Other families can hold beliefs that emotions should not be expressed or shared outside of the family unit. Many families fall somewhere in the middle and the individual’s temperament and personality determines the level of comfort
with sharing and managing emotions.

Problems arise primarily when people struggle with emotional expression. If someone cannot express emotions, they may have trouble connecting with others at a deeper level. People who struggle with sharing emotions tend to communicate primarily from an intellectual perspective which can lack the depth of feeling necessary to develop meaningful relationships. Some reasons for this can stem from not knowing how you feel, not being able to articulate the
feelings, feeling you’re the only one who feels this way and no one will understand, believing it is weak to express emotions, and/or not having someone you trust that you can talk to.

What you can do if you struggle with sharing your feelings is to acknowledge that sharing feelings is intimate and may be uncomfortable. Acknowledging this begins the process of accepting the fact that you will probably feel awkward. This leads to the next step which is to start small. Ease in with someone you trust the most and pay attention to how the experience of sharing feelings affects you. Make sure you are kind to yourself if you have thoughts that you
shouldn’t share feelings. Keeping those feelings bottled up is never a good idea.

The opposite of this is the person who experiences emotional escalation which is an extreme emotional response to being triggered. Most people, when encountering a situation that either fear, bad memories, or any other type of situation that prompts an emotional reaction will respond by expressing what they feel through talking about it or some other form of appropriate emotional expression or sharing. Emotional escalation is a very strong to severe emotional
reaction where the individual becomes flooded with emotion and may act or say irrational things that they would not ordinarily do or say if they were calm. This can cause problems with others in their social life, at work, and just about anyone they encounter.

These individuals often feel their reaction is valid and realistic in response to the trigger that prompted it. This can be a confusing and complicated experience stemming from deep-seated patterns of communication learned in your family of origin. Talking to a counselor can often be a good choice in unraveling the causes of these responses and discovering new ways to manage their emotions, including learning to recognize the trigger, staying calm, and communicating
effectively.

Appropriate expression of both negative and positive emotion is important for personal growth and overall wellness. It improves communication without shame, and increases self-awareness leading to greater confidence, reductions in stress, and better decision making.

Next post:  We will continue our exploration of aspects of the Creative Self and look at how Humor/Optimism and Pessimism contribute to wellbeing. See you soon!!

References

Izard, C. E. (2009). Emotion theory and research: Highlights, unanswered questions, and emerging issues. Annu Rev Psychol. 60, 1–25.